Crushes and Rejection

Crush:

informal

a brief but intense infatuation for someone, especially someone unattainable or inappropriate.

It's happened to all of us, hasn't it? Falling for someone is so easy, and it seemingly happens involuntarily. It's often hard to think of the reasons why we get a crush on someone, even though you think about them a lot.

“What is it that drives me mad
Girls like you that I never had
What is it about you that I adore?
What makes me feel so much pain?
That makes me go so insane
What is it about you that I adore?”

• Green Day (At the Library)
  
  

Pretty accurate isnt it? We’re driven mad by the thoughts of our crush.

And most of the time, it seems like that person is unattainable. It's hard to scrounge up the courage to go and talk to them, because you always think that you would have no chance of being with them.

“Try to find the words I could use

Don't have the courage to come up to you

My chance is looking a bit grey.”

Now let’s fast forward: Let’s say that you start talking with your crush, and slowly but surely befriend them.  Now there are 2 options, with a few different outcomes.

Option A: Don’t make a move.

This is an option, however it’s not recommended. Your feelings for your crush will never truly go away until you are sure or not that they will reciprocate. Also, if you choose this option, be ready for this:

“Oh, well, it happened again

She walked away with her boyfriend

Maybe we'll meet again someday.”

In the time it took you to even become friends with your crush, someone else may have already came and snatched them away from you.

Option B: Ask them out/Tell them how you feel.

This is probably the best option. There are two possible outcomes for this:

• They reciprocate and you start dating. Yay! Not much more to say, stop reading here.

• They don’t reciprocate and your heart is broken. Not yay.

If the second option happens, it may seem like the end of the world. You’ll probably be heartbroken for a while, and it will seem like things will never turn up for you.  W.H. Auden has something to say in response to this.

“Admirer as I think I am

Of stars that do not give a damn,

I cannot, now I see them, say

I missed one terribly all day.”

Here, the lover is infatuated with the stars, yet the stars aren’t the only thing in their life. This is how it is with your crush, they really aren’t that important in your life. Auden ends with this:

“Were all stars to disappear or die,

I should learn to look at an empty sky

And feel its total dark sublime,

Though this might take me a little time.”

Eventually you’ll get over it. Just give it some time.